


Kintsukuroi

by WrennAddysen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Beta Niall, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Louis, Omega Zayn, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Violence, Trauma, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 22:48:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16606886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrennAddysen/pseuds/WrennAddysen
Summary: Zayn survives a horrible life-altering trauma that he will always carry the scars from, both on his skin & in his mind.  What will it take to make Zayn realize that his scars don't make him any less of a person, but in fact make him all the more beautiful?  Liam doesn't know, but he is willing to do whatever it takes to find out.A story of pain, healing, & love between two beautiful boys.





	Kintsukuroi

**Author's Note:**

> *Peaks around the corner waving a small white flag*
> 
> So... its been a while. I'm so so sorry that it has been forever. I have been slowly working on several different fics. In fact today I started a new one, then went back to this one to finish this chapter. I also don't know when I will update another chapter. I have grand plans, but I am also in the middle of reading an actual book series... which I haven't done since I fell down the black hole of fanfiction. It is the Symphony of Ages series by Elizabeth Haydon. 
> 
> I have read the first book in the series so many times over the years that I had to buy physical copies of it twice because it fell apart! I haven't read anything past book 6 since I could never find physical copies of it. I bought the whole series on digital months ago but hadn't started it because I was I couldn't walk away from fanfiction. Every time I tried I kept wondering where the boys were! lol! 
> 
> Anyway, I will stop blabbing now! I hope you enjoy the start of this story!

_Kintsukuroi (kint-soo-ko-roy): “to repair with gold”; the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken._

 

It was 1 o’clock in the morning and Zayn couldn’t sleep.

 

He had been tossing and turning for hours.  He didn’t understand; he wasn’t stressed, at least he shouldn’t be.  He had just finished secondary school the week before and had the whole summer before he had to worry about getting ready to take A-Levels.  His parents weren’t even making him get a summer job.  They had always told him and his sisters that their whole adult life would be spent working and stressing, so they should just enjoy their youth and be kids while they still can. 

 

So that is why Zayn couldn’t figure out why sleep is eluding him.  It’s not like he wasn’t tired.  That is why he came home tonight in the first place.  He had gone to the skate park with Harry and Louis that morning and the three of them had been out running and skating all day.  Well, Zayn and Louis had been skating, Harry had been falling. 

 

Zayn loved his friend, but the boy had a habit of tripping over his own feet.  When they had been younger and just starting to get to know each other, Zayn and Louis had tried to ‘fix’ Harry’s pigeon-toed feet by using duct tape to secure sticks on either side of his ankles.  That ended when Harry tripped and split his chin open on the sidewalk and had to get twenty stitches.  The boys were lucky that Harry didn’t tattle on them to his mum.  All Harry had said was that he had tripped.  That earned him the respect of Zayn and Louis, who were eight and nine at the time.  They had been sure that at six years old, Harry would tell his mum about the sticks and tape.  That little secret, bound by the stitches on Harry’s chin made them best friends for life.

 

So, after a long day of running around, window shopping, and trying to perfect skating tricks, Zayn had decided to go home rather than go to Louis’ house with him and Harry.  As much as he loved his friends, he didn’t want to be around them all the time.  Zayn needed some time to rejuvenate by himself sometimes.  Being social all day long just drained him.

 

Besides, after Louis had presented as an omega three years ago when he was 15, he and Harry had gotten a lot closer.  Zayn predicted that Louis and Harry would start dating soon, maybe they already had and haven’t told him yet.  They had been getting more and more tactile with each other over the last three years. 

 

Harry had always said that he thought that he was going to be an omega.  His mum and older sister were omegas, and honestly you couldn’t find a sweeter boy if you tried.  Everything about Harry was soft and gentle.  He didn’t have a mean bone in his body.  Louis, on the other hand… Louis was loud, rambunctious, and an all-around menace.  Louis, along with just about everyone who had ever met him, were convinced that he would be an alpha. 

 

All the way up until the day that he presented as an omega. 

 

Louis had understandably been upset after he presented.  Thinking for most of your life that you would be an alpha, and then finding out that you are an omega is quite the shock.  It was a rough week.  It was only made better when Louis’ mum had talked to him and explained that just because he was an omega, didn’t mean that he had to change anything about his personality.  She explained that though most omegas are softer and gentler than Louis’ personality was didn’t mean that he wasn’t a good omega, or that he wouldn’t find someone to love him.  The right person would love him just the way he was, instead of judging him based on what the typical omega ‘should be’.  Louis had been in a much better mental place after that talk and had proudly explained to Zayn and Harry that he had no intentions of changing and that he was still the same person as he had been before.  Zayn still swears to this day that he had seen hearts in Harry’s eyes as Louis had made that speech. 

 

It is generally believed that what secondary gender you present at is determined at birth, but there have been some scientific studies that shave suggested that external forces and the way you are nurtured growing up can influence what a person presents as.  If there is any truth to those studies at all, Zayn thinks that Harry will present as an alpha from pure force of will. 

 

Zayn knew that Harry has been crushing on Louis since they were kids.  Right after Louis presented, Harry had been so sad and depressed.  He never said it outright to Zayn, but Zayn knew that it was because he thought that now they would both be omegas, and as such, would never have a real romantic future together.  After Louis’ speech about staying himself, Harry seemed to embrace the words for himself as well.  If ever there were two people destined to be together, it was Harry and Louis.  It wouldn’t be long now either to find out if it would happen.  Most people present when they are 15 to 16 at the latest.  Harry had just turned 15 a few months previously. 

 

All that being said; Zayn really didn’t want to spend the night with the two of them.  They are his best friends and he would be more than happy if they were to end up together, but sometimes he feels like a third wheel.  Zayn was now 17, and having never presented as an alpha or omega, he didn’t really know what the whole dynamics of their relationship entailed.  It wasn’t really a surprise to him, Zayn had always been in the middle of his two best friends.  He was born in the middle and his personality was a mid-range of the two other boys who were practically polar opposites.  He wasn’t as sweet or gentle as Harry, nor was he as loud and high-spirited as Louis.  It is what made them all fit together and get along well.  But as a beta, sometimes he just wanted to be by himself. 

 

Zayn got out of bed and paced around his room for a bit, but it just wasn’t enough.  He had already had himself a wank which usually lets off enough steam for him to be able to fall right asleep, but tonight it hadn’t helped.  He felt itchy under his skin, and it was unusually warm for an English night, making his skin tacky with sweat. 

 

It was late, and his parents would kill him if they found out, but he decided that he needed to get out of the house.  Maybe taking a walk and getting some fresh air would help him sleep.

 

Zayn slipped into a pair of loose shorts and t-shirt that was laying on his floor and grabbed a pair of trainers from his closet.  He unlocked his window and as quietly as he could he pushed it open and slipped through the opening.  This wasn’t the first time that he had snuck out of the house, so he knew where to hold onto so he didn’t end up falling and breaking his neck.  Once he reached the ground he paused for a moment to make sure that no one inside had heard anything.  His sisters can sometimes be light sleepers.  He would be grounded for the rest of the summer if his parents caught him sneaking out again.  When he didn’t see any lights turn on he figured that he was in the clear and let out a grateful sigh before turning and walking towards town. 

 

♥ ó ♥ ó ♥ ó ♥

 

Zayn had been walking around town for two hours.  He was sure to stay on the sidewalks that were lit with streetlights.  He was only 17, but he wasn’t an idiot; he knew that the area that he lived in wasn’t the best.  There were several pubs nearby, but they had stopped serving and were closing up for the night.  When he heard a few drunks down the block, he would duck into an alley to stay out of sight; he didn’t want any trouble. 

 

Zayn still had that itch under his skin though and even though he was hot and sweat was beading up between his shoulders and running down his back he was getting goose bumps.  He felt like a live wire, his insides would quiver, and he would get dizzy, but he still didn’t think that he would be able to sleep.  Maybe he was getting sick?

 

He had just decided that he should head home when, in typical England fashion, the sky opened up and started to drizzle.  It wasn’t enough to soak Zayn’s clothes, but it was enough to make his already sticky skin more uncomfortable.  Zayn signed and thought through his options.  He could stick to the streets like he had been, but it would take a long while to get back to his house.  By the time he made it back, if it kept misting like this he would be soaked, and if he was getting sick, being out in the rain would not help matters.  With his luck he would end up with pneumonia.  But, if he cut through the park he would make it home in half the time.  Plus, the trees would provide some shelter from the rain. 

 

Zayn had avoided the park because it was notorious in the area for being dangerous afterhours.  There were police arrests all the time in the park for drugs and prostitution.  But he hadn’t seen or heard anyone in about a half hour, and it was about 3 am; most likely he could make it threw there without running into anyone and if he heard anything strange he could duck behind a tree or something. 

 

He was still weighing his options, and in fact on the verge of choosing the safer route when the sky lit up from a flash of lightning and rain came pouring down out of nowhere.  Welp, guess that was decided then, Zayn thought to himself as he took off at a run towards the park. 

 

What Zayn hadn’t accounted for was how dark the park was at night.   The park was large, taking up about ten city blocks, and parts of it was heavily wooded.  Zayn had made the mistake of going off the sidewalk and trying to follow a trail through one of the wooded sections that was a shortcut back to his part of the neighborhood.  It was only then that Zayn had realized that he hadn’t brought his phone with him.  He mentally kicked himself, he really could have used his flashlight app right about then. 

 

Zayn lost the trail for a few minutes and had to try to backtrack to get back to it.  He could hear the raindrops hitting the leaves of the trees.  The sound of it was shockingly loud when there was no other noise present.  The foliage was blocking most of the rain so he wasn’t getting wet anymore so that was a plus.  By the time Zayn made it to the other side of the park, he figured he could have stuck to the sidewalk as his shortcut took longer than expected.  Oh well, at least he stayed a bit dryer. 

 

Luck was with him, the storm that drove him into the park to begin with was short lived, it had nearly stopped raining completely by the time he got back out onto the street.  Zayn knew it was getting late… or early, depending on how you look at it and he needed to get home, so he could sneak back into his room before his parents got up.  His dad was an early riser, always up reading the news before dawn. 

 

Zayn hastened his steps, not paying attention to anything around him, just anxious to get back home.  He didn’t see the men until he was just a few meters away from them.  Didn’t even notice them in fact until one of them let out a loud wolf whistle.  Zayn stumbled to a stop, utterly shocked by their presence.  He had no idea where they came from.  He was immediately aware that this was not a good situation.  There were three of them, and they had stood up and were stalking towards him. 

 

“What have we got here, lads?” one of the men said.  He was about Zayn’s height, but bigger in build.  A few years older too. 

 

“Isn’t it a bit past your bedtime kid?” the second man slurred. 

 

Zayn could tell by their speech that the men were intoxicated.  Zayn slowly started backing up; home was forward, but he didn’t want to try to get past them.  If he turned back, he could duck into a side street and lose the men if they tried to chase him and zigzag a few blocks to reach his house. 

 

“Hey!” the third man shouted, “Tony asked you a question!”

 

“Look, I am just on my way home, I don’t want any trouble.”

 

“Don’t want any trouble?” the first guy asked.  “What’s that suppose to mean?  Do we look like the type of lads that would start trouble with a sexy little twink?” 

 

“Yeah, we aren’t gonna do anything to ya, we just want to talk to you!” 

 

The men were advancing towards Zayn as he was backing up.  He saw the man that had been referred to as Tony reach into his pocket and pull something out.  Tony flicked his wrist and Zayn saw a blade flick out.  He had a knife, and they were close enough now that Zayn could see a wicked glint in his eyes. 

 

Zayn turned and took off running, and promptly ran into something solid.  He would have bounced off and hit the ground, but strong hands locked around his upper arms.  There was a fourth man behind him.  Zayn started to warn him about the men with the knife but was stopped before the words could come out.  The man who saved him from hitting the ground pulled him in closer and took a big sniff of Zayn’s neck.  Zayn tried to recoil but the hold on him was too strong. 

 

“Well, well, well, boys.  Looks like we have ourselves a little omega, that is just starting his heat.”

 

♥ ó ♥ ó ♥ ó ♥

 

“Zayn, sonshine, it’s time to get up.” Trisha called as she knocked on her only son’s door.  “Your dad has breakfast ready.”  Trisha listened for the tell-tale signs that her second eldest child was waking up.  It was always a struggle to get Zayn out of bed, even when he was little.  Now that he was a teenager it was all but impossible some mornings.  On more than one occasion she had literally had to pull him out of bed so he could get to school on time.  She didn’t want to just barge into his room in the morning.  She wanted to give him an opportunity to cover himself if he was in a, shall we say, ‘compromising’ position. 

 

Trisha smiled to herself remembering a conversation she had with her husband years ago. 

 

_When Zayn was about 11 or 12 years old and she had barged into his room one morning without knocking to wake him up.  After she got him and his sisters off to school Yaser had looked at her and said, “You know, the time is coming when you should probably knock before you open his door in the morning.”_

_“What?  Why?  Has he said something to you?” Trisha had asked naïvely._

_“No, it’s just that he is a boy and he is growing into a man.”_

_“What does that mean?”_

_Yaser smirked, but Trisha could see his cheeks color a bit underneath his darker complexion.  “When I was around Zayn’s age, my mum would barge into my room in the mornings, just like she did with my sisters to get me up.  Let’s just say she saw something that was deeply embarrassing for the both of us.”_

_Trisha’s jaw had dropped, they had been married for years, he had never told her that his mum had walked in on him yanking on his morning wood.  Trisha had blushed scarlet and then burst out laughing.  “I can’t believe you never told me that before!” she scolded gently._

_“Why would I?  It is a secret I would rather take to my grave, but I wanted to spare you and Zayn the possible humiliation that my mum and I went through.  I couldn’t look her in the eye for months!”_

 

Ever since that conversation Trisha has given her son a few minutes to compose himself if necessary.  She knocked again and after hearing no response, she opened the door.  It took her a second to register that the bed was empty.  When she did, she looked around the room, her eyes landing on the open window. 

 

Trisha sucked in an angry breath of air as she stormed down to the kitchen.  “Your son snuck out his window again.”

 

Yaser looked up from the contents of the pan he was stirring on the stove.  Saafa and Wali said in unison, “Ooooh, Zayn’s in trouble!” in sing-song voices.  Any response to Trisha’s statement was cut off when the two girls immediately turned to each other and yelled “JINX! You owe me a soda! DOUBLE JINX! You owe me two sodas!”

 

Yaser cut them off before they could keep going, “Girls!  Inside voices please.”  Both girls turned to pout at him, he rarely raised his voice to any of his children.  To placate them he said, “Why don’t you girls take your breakfast into the living room and watch the telly while you eat?”  Wali and Saafa cheered as they quickly grabbed their plates and left the kitchen.

 

Yaser turned back to his wife and saw the anger burning in her eyes.  “He probably just went over to Louis’ or Harry’s house.  Why are you so angry?”

 

“Because it is dangerous!” Trisha huffed.  “He knows I don’t like it when he is out after dark.” 

 

“He is a good kid, Trish.  If the worst we can expect out of him is that he runs out after dark to go to his friends’ house, I think we are doing pretty well.” 

 

“How can you be so flippant about this?  We don’t live in the best neighborhood.  What if something happens to him?”

 

“Honey, when I was his age I snuck out all the time, nothing bad happened to me.  And I grew up in a worse area than this.”  Yaser tried to sooth. 

 

“I know that, and I know he is smart and a good kid.  I just don’t like it.” Trisha said with wetness gleaming in her eyes. 

 

Yaser stepped over to his wife and pulled her in for a hug.  “I know you don’t.  How about you call his and tell him to come home.”  Yaser pulled back as he smiled, “You can decide how long he is grounded for.” He said wagging his eyebrow. 

 

Yaser’s poor attempt at humor had worked and Trisha cracked a smile, turning away to pick up her phone she muttered, “Until he leaves for uni.  That’s if he is lucky.”

 

♥ ó ♥ ó ♥ ó ♥

 

Louis was woken up, as usual by four screaming girls who had launched themselves into his bed the second that his mum opened his bedroom door. 

 

“Ummph!” he heard Harry groan beside him, “my willy!”

 

Louis smiled sympathetically.  He had grown up with four younger siblings and had learned early on to sleep on his side or on his belly to avoid little flailing limbs from hitting him in his sensitive areas.  Harry on the other hand had grown up with an older sister and didn’t have that problem.  He was use to sleeping star fished on his back, leaving his nether regions exposed to boney elbows and knees.  Louis would have thought after spending as much time at Louis’ house as he did, he would learn, but it seems like old habits were too hard for Harry to break.

 

Over the clamor of young voices and the moaning of his best friend, Louis heard his mum talking to him.  “Did Zayn sneak over here last night?”

 

“What?” Louis asked, looking around like Zayn might actually appear out of the blue in in his room.  “No, Zayn said that he was going home last night.  Haven’t seen him since we left the skate park.” 

 

“Hush girls stop clamoring all over Harry!  Go downstairs and start your breakfast!” Jay scolded lightly.  It took a couple of minutes, but all the little girls eventually made their way out of the room, leaving the boys alone with Jay who was speaking into the phone.  “Sorry Trisha, Zayn isn’t here.”  Louis watched as his mum listened to what Trisha was saying.  Finally she said, “Harry is here too, how about I send them out to look for him?”  There was another pause before Jay said, “Okay, I’ll have the boys call you as soon as they find him.  Keep me posted if he comes home first.  Bye Trish!”

 

Harry was finally able to sit up, and rubbed his eyes as he said, “What’s going on?” 

 

“Zayn apparently snuck out of the house last night.  Trisha thought he might have been here.  She already called Anne.  Can you boys get dressed and go looking for him?  Trisha is beside herself with worry.  Yaser is going out looking too, but I thought you boys might have more luck.” 

 

“Yeah sure Mum, we will head right out.”

 

♥ ó ♥ ó ♥ ó ♥

 

Louis and Harry had been out looking for Zayn for a couple hours with no luck.  They checked the skate park, the outlet shops, and even walked around the large park in town, but Zayn was no where to be found.  They decided to head towards Zayn’s house.  Maybe he had gone home already or that Yaser had found him.  It was possible that no one remembered to call them and let them know that Zayn was home and they had been out looking for him for nothing. 

 

They were just a few blocks away from Zayn’s house, talking amongst themselves when Louis heard a noise down a side alley.  “Harry, did you hear that?” Louis asked. 

 

“Hear what?”

 

“I heard a noise down the alley.  It sounded like whine.”

 

“Come on Lou, we need to get to…” Harry broke off what he was saying when he too heard the noise. 

 

“Harry, we should go check it out, maybe it’s a kitten.” Louis said worriedly taking a few quick steps towards the alleyway. 

 

The hair on the back of Harry’s neck and arms stood up.  He didn’t know what it was, but he had a horrible feeling.  “Stop Louis!” Harry barked. 

 

It wasn’t the words that Harry spoke, but the way he spoke them that made Louis stop.  He had never heard Harry sound like that before.  It was almost like he didn’t have a choice in the matter; like his body stopped all on its own. 

 

“You wait here, I will go check it out.” Harry said.  He looked at Louis and then back down the alley.  Harry crept down the alley, the whining getting louder the closer he got to a large dumpster.  The lid on the dumpster was open and Harry stood on his tip toes and peered inside.  Other than a couple bags of trash, the dumpster was empty.  Harry stared for a few minutes to see if anything was moving in the bags.  There was another whimper, Harry turned his head to follow the sound.  It wasn’t coming from the dumpster, but from beside it. 

 

Harry stepped past the dumpster and his stomach leaped to his throat as he digested what he was seeing. 

 

“Oh my God… Louis!  Call an ambulance!” Harry yelled, frantic.  Harry heard a sharp gasp behind him and glanced over his shoulder to see Louis staring wide-eyed at the scene before them.

 

“Zayn!” Louis screamed in horror.

 

♥ ó ♥ ó ♥ ó ♥

**Author's Note:**

> So tell me what you think!! Kudos & comments give me life! Also feel free to drop me note on tumblr @WrennAddysen !
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!! It really means the world to me!
> 
> If you like this story, please consider buying me a coffee - https://ko-fi.com/wrennaddysen


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